Rewinding my Life by 10 years

Yesterday was a special day for me and for 7 more girls who got together for lunch. All of us had one thing in common - Our School.

All of us were so excited to see each other and we literally had to take turns to talk because each has so many things to share. This was surprising given that we were hardly close in school. We belonged to different sections, knew some of them only on a hi- bye basis but still we felt so close yesterday. We treated each other with so much warmth and were a little disappointed when it was time to leave.

When my friend Shuba said she wanted to visit school, I took her lightly..but just the sight of the buildings brought back so many memories....

The anxiousness I had felt while getting dropped at school and trying to make out whether I had made it on time and trying to figure out ways of escaping into the class without detection...

The joy in seeing friends in class, even though i had just spoken to them the previous night..

The eagerness in going for the school assembly , but only on days when there would be cultural programmes..:)

The shock of finding out while searching the bag that the record or assignment due to be submitted that day was left on the study table at home after staying up late to complete the work...

The sudden change in volume of the class from high to mute when someone spots our principal outside the class corridor...

The excitement of the inter - house culturals or when we friends spot a handsome guy in the campus ;)

The tension during exams especially during practicals ...

The swiftness in biting my nails when I suddeny realise that I am 4 girls behind the one who was currently being inspected for tidiness...

The ultimate joy in finding out that the salt I got for the chemisty practical exam was coloured...

The eager wait for birthdays - the one day when I can be a princess, treated specially by teachers and friends and yes no scoldings on that day :)

And I can go on....But most importance of all is the innocence of childhood and the worry free lives we girls had 10 years back...The only worries we had then were that we had to show bad marks to parents or the embarrassing 40 minutes we had to face when made to stand out of the class... :) How trivial they all seem now.

But Girls will always be girls...We didnt run short of gossips to share yesterday and we even involuntarily lowered our voices while telling gossips ..It had a meaning in school when the girl we were talking about was sitting just 3 seats away but not in that crowded restaurant we met yesterday :D

What is Fate?

"Whats the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked, completely surprised.
"It is this , that at certain point in our lives, we lose control in our lives and our lives become completely controlled by fate. That;s the world's greatest lie"
- Words taken from "The Alchemist"

For sometime now I have been thinking about the play of fate in my life and in the lives of others. It was right after a very big disappointment in my life. I prayed for something with all devotion and dedication but I didnt not suceed in getting what i had asked for. It was then I decided that if I have to get anything in life, it will happen only if its written in my fate and this was why i did not get what i wished for. So it was very easy and convinient to conclude that whatever happens in life happens because it is already "written" in God's script and we play it out with dialogues, costumes and live sets. But I was not happy with this explaination. It did not make sense. Is it a waste of time to hope, dream, wish and pray? Is hoping, dreaming , wishing , praying and not getting it a part of fate too? No it cant be. God is not a hypocrite to create an illusion that we can achieve anything we dream of and then make us dance like puppets to his tune called fate...No it definitely cant be right.

If I start believing this concept, then I am giving myself less credit for what i have achieved and what i can achieve in life.It makes life dull without any aspiration to work hard. I got worried if i will end up asking "Why do it or why even try this ..its going to be mine only if its my fate?" before even I make an attempt. I knew this attitude was only going to make me a loser. Thats when I truly believed the words I read in teh book "The Alchemist".

I am the God of my life. I create in my life what I choose to create. And if I fail, it just means that I did not choose right. So I will make another attempt. And this is exactly the purpose God created us...to experience " the power to create".